Preparing for Your First Meeting with a Family Lawyer

 

This page is intended to help you prepare for your initial meeting with a family lawyer so that you can use the time as efficiently and productively as possible. Not all of the information below will apply to every situation, and it is absolutely normal to attend a first meeting without having everything gathered.

Think of this as a guide, not a checklist you must complete before meeting with a lawyer.

Married or Common Law?

For many purposes under Manitoba family law:

  • If you have lived with your partner for at least three (3) years, the legal principles that apply are often the same as for married couples.

  • If you have lived together for less than three (3) years, this may affect your rights and obligations, and it is important to tell your lawyer.

If you are unsure how long your relationship qualifies, you can discuss it with the lawyer.

Marriage Certificate

If you are married and seeking a divorce:

  • An original marriage certificate must ultimately be filed with the court.

  • The names, dates, and details in your court documents must match the marriage certificate exactly.

If you already have your marriage certificate, keep it in a safe place. If you do not you can order one.  If you were married in Manitoba, you can order it from Manitoba Vital Statistics or its equivalent in the jurisdiction you were married in.

Do not delay your meeting just because you do not yet have this document.

 Parenting Arrangements

If you have children, parenting arrangements are one of the most important issues to address.

Rather than focusing on legal labels such as joint custody, sole custody, or primary care and control, it is far more helpful to think in practical terms, such as:

  • How much time each parent spends with the children;

  • How weekdays, weekends, holidays, and school breaks are handled; and

  • What parts of parenting are most important to you (for example, school mornings, extracurricular activities, or bedtime routines).

For example, it is more helpful to say:

“It’s important to me that I get the children ready for school in the morning.”

than to say:

“I want primary care and control.”

Your lawyer can explain how legal terminology works. Your role is to explain what kind of parenting arrangement you believe is best for your children.

Spousal Support

I encourage clients not to run spousal support calculations or draw firm conclusions before meeting with a lawyer. Spousal support law is complex, and outcomes can vary widely depending on the facts.

Spousal support is more likely to arise in situations where:

  • One party has been the sole or primary income earner for a significant period of time;

  • One party’s ability to earn income has been negatively affected by family circumstances (for example, staying home with children or relocating for a partner’s career); or

  • There is a significant difference in the parties’ incomes.

 There is no strict income threshold. By way of example:

  • If one party earns $20,000 and the other earns $120,000, spousal support is likely to be an issue.

  • If one party earns $60,000 and the other earns $70,000, the income difference alone may not be sufficient.

This is an area where personalized legal advice is essential.

Income Disclosure

If you have children, or if child support or spousal support may be payable, both parties’ incomes are usually relevant.

If available, please gather copies of the following for yourself and (if you have them) for your spouse or partner:

Please assemble, if possible:

  1. Income tax returns for the last three (3) tax years, including all Notices of Assessment or Reassessment;

  2. If you have not yet filed your most recent tax return:

    • A T4, or

    • Your most recent pay statement;

  3. Evidence of current income:

    • Employees: your three (3) most recent pay statements.

If you are self-employed or control a corporation:

  • Financial statements for the last three (3) years; and/or

  • Corporate income tax returns for the last three (3) years.

Do not worry if you do not yet have all of this information. Identifying what is missing is often part of the first meeting.

 

 Property Division

If you are married, or if you have lived together in a common-law relationship for at least three (3) years, property division may apply.

Ultimately, you will need to disclose all assets and debts, ideally with values as close as possible to your date of separation. For an initial meeting, approximate information is usually sufficient.

Assets

Please gather information or statements for any assets you own, including:

Real Property

  • The value of your home and any other real estate, such as:

    • A municipal assessment;

    • A recent appraisal or opinion of value; or

    • Your own estimated value, if no formal valuation is available yet.

Financial Accounts

  • Chequing accounts

  • Savings accounts

  • TFSAs

  • RRSPs

  • RESPs for children

  • Any other investment or savings accounts

Pensions

  • If you have a pension, request a pension division or valuation statement from the pension administrator as soon as possible.

  • These statements often take several months to obtain.

Other Assets

  • Vehicles

  • Household contents

  • Shares

  • Bonds

  • Any other assets of value

Debts

Please gather information regarding any debts, including:

  • Mortgages

  • Credit cards

  • Lines of credit

  • Loans

  • Money owed to any person

A Final Note

It is very common for people to feel overwhelmed at the start of a family law matter. You are not expected to have everything perfectly organized before your first meeting.

Your initial appointment is about:

  • Understanding your rights and obligations;

  • Identifying what information will ultimately be required; and

  • Developing a clear and practical plan for next steps.

If you are unsure whether something is relevant, bring it or make a note of it so you can discuss it with the lawyer.